hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript

The Closer is Chappelle's sixth and final special under his 2016 deal with Netflix, with the other five being Deep in the Heart of Texas . So big. Its just 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff. You walk in: What language are you guys speaking? I live on the second story. Its a big deal. Vanity Fair. I was like, Oh, I live in LA. Because I dont give a fuck about any of my single friends. Only 32 years old, Minhaj recently performed at the White House Correspondents Dinner and is a regular correspondent on The Daily Show. [laughter] That kid wont choke on camera. Hello, who is this? Hi, its Alice. Whatever. Never did that. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and But for me, I was born here. Boom! And while its a deeply personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the show still feels universal. and the Reply, son. The first time you experience racism? He cant do this. Weeks go by. Are you kidding me? Im the only br0wn kid at school, Dad is the only br0wn guy at work. Whats up? Thats my bike. The pendulum swings back and forth for me. Can I ask him the question? Hes like, Okay, Alice. She runs up to me and hugs me. Let me know when youre in New York. To which I reply, abso-f*cking-lutely. Now, against the advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile. This is a real show on NBC. Youre never going to get married. And Im standing there on that doorstep. Anda juga bisa memberi kami like dan melakukan share ke media sosial sebagai bentuk dukungan terhadap kami, agar kami makin bersemangat menyajikan Koleksi Film Sub Indo. Shwarma time! I love that so much. Thank you. Status updates, away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men. Your son just won the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Deal with it. One of the happiest days of my life. In a relationship with I click it. Its real. You have to be brave, his father urged. Hasan Minhaj's new special,. People say, Your parents dont love you. I think our parents love us. But for the most part, I actually think about it the way my dad does. They love them. Dad had a heart attack. My dad had just suffered a quintuple bypass. 78% - Critics. The producer answers the door: Audition with me. Hasan Minhaj Answers Increasingly Personal Questions. But she didnt. You know what the shitty part is? And I had a sister. Its a generational thing. My mom and my sisters are crying. I sit down and were running it, and Im nervous. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. For this, we honor it with a Peabody Award. Ill pay it. Alright, maybe I didnt cure it, but everyone has a purpose. 23 S.E. I dont care about any of you and it feels great. But isnt it our job to push the needle forward little by little? Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King) stops by Utkarsh's apartment to discuss his one-man show "Homecoming King", bringing South Asian American stories to the mainstream and the responsibilities that come it, how things work at The Daily Show, and Hasan talks about his brave, bold and incredibly powerful speech to Congress at the 2015 So when 9-11 happened I was in high school. His brother is like, Im fucked. Are you fucking kidding? People ask, Where does that come from? Look at this kids parents. The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhaj's experience of growing up "brown" in America. Hes 12 years old. Its beautiful, the sun is setting, its one of those gorgeous evenings. Muslims are like, No statues! Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. This aint Jodhaa Akbar. Have you ever been trapped by the time you live in? Alright, so so this airs during March Madness. I cant die. Princess from here down, Toad from here up. The bike goes left, I go right. I turn around and I look, but shes gone. I park my bike. I was like, I made it! Copyright Fandango. All men created equal. It says it right here, Im equal. Im standing there. I see a curb. [laughter] Dont you know what this means? Every single br0wn mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts. She has a PhD. So Hindus Hindus dont eat beef. I never knew I never knew if I would do anything more than Pizza Hut. Get nine in a box for just ten bucks. Just like, Ah. And Id look at him and be like, Oh, man. Running time: 72 minutes Thank you.. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. How many letters are in the alphabet? Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. Thank you. She gets in the car. Thats a hand. Please dont say anything. Listen, me and my girlfriends live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix? Question mark. Spray on the Michael Jordan cologne. 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes. We have great fathers. Isnt there something bigger that unites all of us outside of race, color, creed, class? Yeah! My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. Popping out of your mom is like real estate. Crush our enemies.. But I was like, No, shes different. I hit her up late at night. Turn left. Other days, No, fuck that. Life is tough and sometimes you dont know what youre doing. Ive never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on? Whats going on? Pizza Hut money. Shes like, Next time, me, you and Raj should hang out. Im like, Yeah, lets not do that. And Im walking to the subway station. Cheese! There are no featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the movie has not released yet (). [slow, stupid voice] Uh, I dont understand other cultures, bro. Youre always stressed and always tired. It's far from a light walk . [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! She saw me doing this shit in the street. Round them up, contain them? I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. Do you know what thats like? Her family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Out of college. Its Jon. When youre ready, Jon will come down. [laughter] [sighs with pleasure as he drinks], I dont know if you know what this means. This is new br0wn America. Its done. So even if you never want to talk to me ever again, Ill always be rooting for you. You know how you carry hatred in your heart about people in your past? Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. Theres one mall in the entire area. I need her in my life. I wanted to say that. So by my senior year of high school, I had yet to go to a school dance, I had been cut from the basketball team, and I had just got off this medicine called Accutane so my skin and face was peeling. Ira Glass says children are our future.. Right? Like, Pioneer I grew up here. Youve seen movies. I call my dad, he says Good job. What? Hes like, Thats a good point. Maybe I will follow my dreams. Then Bethanys like, Hey, we always study at my house. Have you heard of Seema? To know that generational change is possible with one choice. Youre getting there., I get to her house. [laughter] What about Mr Rengatramanajananam? Shes like, I hit it off with this guy. Im going to fucking kill you. Click. Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. Why didnt you forgive her? he asks his son. He goes, I dont think we should do this. "The King's Jester" reps the second stand-up comedy special that Minhaj has produced and starred in. I dont deserve this. Her family saw stuff about us. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. You know we dont end up this far. We get to this intersection, and I look to my left, and its the one place every kid dreams about. Just all traps. I hated her. By creating an account, you agree to the Ten syllables. Fuck. I crushed it like a Voldemort Horcrux. Now Im losing hope. Residency, fam! Never happens. This kid just won $30,000 cash. I love you guys. Youre not my sister. [gasps in audience] But she couldnt understand English. You are shitting on my dreams. I didnt say that. [laughter] My dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff. Youre Hussan Minhajj. Now youre like, Lets be reasonable with the bigots. What? And then he just walks back into the house with glass in his feet. ' And I was like, What did you say? And shes like, I told my mom, Not again. The British are going to talk shit about us. I really believe that. Take the ring, Sam. The movie is done in eight minutes. Twenty-two-time Emmy-award-winning Jon Stewart. Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp (1939) Aladdin series: Aladdin: (1992 & 2019) Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996) Alag (2006) Alai (2003) Alaipayuthey (2000) Alam Ara (1931) Alambrado (1991) Alambrista! Father doesnt want us to go to prom. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. The Circus: Inside the Greatest Political Show on Earth: Season 8, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer. Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. Ill see all the employees, Hannity, Coulter, OReilly, leave their building, cross the street, walk past me, and line up for halal chicken and rice. Second period rolls around like clockwork. This is House of Cards. Do you know what its like to have a parent that controls your life? No, I dont. Im about to close the door. "Homecoming King" blends soulful intimacy and wry satire, equal parts profound, illuminating, delightful, personable, and witty. She has this look of concern. And Aisha senses it. You look the same. So how do I explain this? God is laughing at me. I can imagine being a father, missing your daughters first steps, her first time saying Dada Thats a hard thing. But I take one last look at the restaurant. I didnt know how to feel, until this. Send that shit right now! "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King," Mr. Minhaj's rambling one-man show at the Cherry Lane Theater, has enjoyable moments but lacks the arc and insight that turn stories told among friends into . We can speak at home and outside. We go from New York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA. Lets see what the internet is saying about me. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. I love you. Drives off into the night. But its too much. About to meet his future daughter-in-law, Minhajs father repeats an oft-spoken phrase from their household: log kya kahenge, What will people think? Minhaj and his sister become upset, believing that something bigger besides religion, race, creed, color, or class unites them with all people. Thats Tinder with no photos. I am Jon Stewart. I was like, Im a headliner. Its been going on for centuries. Give me the Rajesh Rengatramana motherfucking-jananam. Like, No! God is laughing at me. Why? You could wake up any immigrant father from a 12-hour nap, and theyd say [angry yawn] Why do I have to pay taxes? Youre like, Jesus Wed do everything. Because of this weve been killing each other for centuries. So the first eight years, it was just me and my dad. There are uncles here. (Photo via Wikimedia Commons) On Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy Show featuring Hasan Minhaj. I really believe love is bigger than fear. You should be proud. Who is proud? Us. My secret was, I want to be a comedian. She said, I want to be a journalist. We promised we would follow our dreams, no matter what people would think. Its a very heavy ring. Dad saw the Toys R Us catalog on my wall. Go be president. Middle management till we die. Its difficult to get in this country. I see you getting mad. I dont know. I would have gotten a slap. Hasan sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the balance of life and work and the effect of trends and forces in his life. [raucous laughter]. We love this country, please believe me. Nobody loves this country more than us. In the photo hes like, You had better get all As. Like, lets be real. Were going home. I walk out the door, but then I hear a voice. First was his one-man show, "Homecoming King," which he started performing live in 2014 and released as a Netflix special last year. I couldnt believe it. Hasan bhai! Im like, Yo, kick rocks! I go play tetherball. YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. They wheel him into surgery and I hand the clipboard to the doctor. The story begins with Minhaj's parents getting married in . She knew the rules. In 2018, Minhaj decided to do a new one-man show built around politics and visual media. Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. I sent it. But you know whats great? Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. Isnt that how all this stuff happens? The producer is like, Well run it a few times. And I sit down and I get to the desk. Elder siblings, we walk through the world like, Do people love me? And youre like, Mom and Dad fucked up with you, not with me. [shocked laughter] Shes like, Take it for one lap around the block. [speaking Hindi] I grab those handlebars, Im like, Fuck that noise. Boom. What do you like? He's a two-time Peabody Award winner and host of the Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, which has just begun its second season. Im crushing life. Tools, Clear History. Me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the prom? Almost 700 people. August 11th, 1993. You guys see this, right? Number two, you want me to change my life to appease some aunty and uncle Im never going to see? JOIN NOW Im going to jump off and land on my bike. Dad, youre the guy that will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear. I've identified my statements in . Dont clap. Its like phones connected to the land. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Youve got to ease your way in. Najmi marries Question Mark, they come to the States, I come out. Youre going to fight with your parents, and theres a finite number of hands you can play. To tell them youre good enough. Mom and Dad was my Vietnam. Here you go, Aisha. He looks at me. His Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj won two Peabody Awards and two Webby Awards . Im not Larry David. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Weve got to clean this up. Zen! Hey, man, by any chance do you know how many pizza sliders you get in a box for just ten bucks? [laughter] Nine! Is it true you can mix and match up to three ways? [laughter] Yes, three. Come on! He talks to Sam about being an Indian American Muslim,. Theres br0wn dads here, like, If my son did that, I would shoot myself and then shoot him. He says yes. Thats it. So I was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I was like, Yes, my white princess. As soon as I said that, I was like, No! I had bitten off more than I could chew. And I know 9/11 is a super touchy subject. You bring nothing to the table. Nine in a box for just ten bucks. Im walking up to the doorstep, and Im about to ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait. Go for it. See you next week. Therapy is bullshit. But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. Please click the link below to receive your verification email. There's. I know you guys have problems. Im like, Dude, what are you doing? Hes walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit. Are you kidding me? I cant believe it. Netflix said, Where do you want to do the special? Like a fucking G! This year wouldnt be the same without you. ' I ran home, I was like, Dad, I would like to go to prom. [speaking Hindi] Which means, I will break your face. Duly noted, father. Bethany, situation at home. Privacy Policy Shes going to tell Dad. Lets focus on whats important here. Im blessed. So I tell him the prom story. I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. Saddam Husseins a Ghostbuster? Yeah, Im a br0wn Ghostbuster. You guys wanna know a secret? Really? Im livid. Im standing there. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Not going to be a doctor? I can be me! So Im going back and forth. La Quinta Inn! Fuck this, man! Dad hates yogurt. [laughter] He hates milk. But I get that look, now. Im pooping my pants. You know, I kept doing comedy. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. God bless. Hasan, be brave. Its a very beautiful poem. How many letters in the alphabet? Calligraphy! Your email address will not be published. My dad sits everybody down. It never gets popping in med school. Oh, how do you find people? Dimples? You guys are like, I was getting handjobs when I was nine. Not me. What? Marry a white girl? We got our first A-list celebrity to back the Muslim community. Every day I walk past their building during lunch. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness. Fresh TV Trailers. Just confirm how you got your ticket. Killing it! Tools, Clear History. I mean, dances are overrated. You dont get it, man. Kind of like tonight. I was like, Yo, Facebook! I think about it all the time. Keema roti, me? Ive got to drop the greatest status update. I run upstairs, open my laptop, fire up Facebook, and then I see this. Shes like, I wish I could have gone with you. So theyre rushing him to the hospital. Why do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there? You guys knew she was white, right? Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. #brilliant. You understand? Im supposed to be her big brother, help her navigate the American dream and protect her. Its like 20 feet. So Ill see you Monday, right?. We got Batman, baby! The release date of Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King is May 22, 2017. He saw my vision board. So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. For four years, my wife and I couldn't get pregnant. But, you know, if life gives you lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade. Sprinkle in a little irony. Good night. Im going to sneak out. Late at night on AIM, back and forth, back and forth You guys dont know this. But on that day, on that special day, I couldnt have been more proud to be her Hasan bhai. Is Hasan there? What you want, Alice? I was like, Im going to die a virgin. Im in Geometry with Hasan. Growing up, we just want that co-sign. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I'm home. Weve all been there. I was like, Oscar speech, go. And I was like, You knew my situation. He goes, Hey, man, just slow down. Because were too afraid of the Other. You know, they say every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. At an interview, this lady said, Describe your earliest birthday memory. I was like, Do I have to? So Im six, Im turning seven. I popped out here. Not your typical stand up special, But special nonetheless! All of us? Im laughing so hard, Im crying. I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. Do you want it? Duh! I want to be president. Duh! I was ride or die for you. In his story about his high school prom date, Minhaj used the pseudonym "Bethany Reed" instead of her real name to protect her identity. Yeah. Weve got to round them up, weve got to contain them. And Ben Afflecks like, Are you crazy? It was all a dream. But its not a dream, its the universe telling you, Its a Fair and Lovely world. And I honestly dont know who is more right. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. 10:19. 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. I redefined political satire and comedy. Were sitting on my living room table. Do tell. Daily Show, Fox News, five avenues away from each other. Im like, Whatever, its not going to happen. Lives in Manhattan. Duh, we knew that. So for her first birthday, he wanted it to be special. Kids were losing their minds. I call my girl. Boom! Look at that face. Love intrinsically is bigger than fear, he declares. My dad picked it up before me. Walk in there and just own it.

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